I find myself reminiscing and reflecting more and more lately. My family has even started pointing out how much time I spend doing it.

I turned 50 last month. I know that is not old, and I definitely do not feel old. I think that is part of why I have been looking backward so much lately.

I have lived several different lives inside those 50 years.

I have seen a lot. I have done a lot. I have been a lot of different versions of myself. People, places, jobs, relationships, dreams, and entire seasons of life have come and gone.

Some of those years were good. Some were hard as hell. Some changed me in ways I did not understand until much later.

What feels different now is that I can see all of it more clearly.

Not because I want to live in the past.

I think I am finally old enough to understand just how much life is already behind me, while still feeling like there is plenty left in front of me.